it comes to me when it does (a prayer / an ode)
it comes to me when it does
and I dare not refuse it
it has come like a tidal wave
a sudden whirl that takes me
and leaves me panting at it’s edge
sitting in it’s froth and tasting of salt
it has come like a smooth wind
enfolding me and whispering
shivers across my skin
it has opened itself to me
like the lilacs in the young heat of Colorado
whose sumptuous bouquets
draw my eyes
and whose sweet perfume
i cannot escape nor resist.
it comes to me when it does
and I do not refuse it
I know that when it comes
I have been given a precious gift
and I know that eventually,
it always comes.
it comes to me when it does
so i no longer wait
i no longer see this as reason
to abandon
it’s practice.
I practice it
regardless of its arrival.
I come to love
hands full or empty
body adorned or plain
alone or with company
I come to love each night
in the fullness of my despair
or the ordinariness of my contentment
I come to love
so that when it comes
and then leaves
i am not left in need.